A Trip To Costco

A TRIP TO Costco
 
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chowfor my loyal pet, Biscuit the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout linewhen a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
 
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming outof most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
 
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way thatit works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled withmy story.)
 
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care becausethe dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s ass and a car hit us both.
 
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. 
 
Costco won’t let me shop there anymore.
 
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in theworld to think of crazy things to say.
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